When I was 16 I wrote my first "future husband list".....and it had probably 20 things on it. Then I wrote another when I was 17, and it had a little less, but the same general things.
Here's a sampling: 1. Walking the narrow way 2. Fears the Lord 3. Walks out the first commandment 4. Will sit in a coffee shop and talk for hours (or anywhere for that matter) 5. Handsome 6. A leader/shepherd 7. Doesn't care about the world or the things of the world 8. Loves the outdoors 9. Will take me on crazy adventures 10. Plays guitar/piano/sings 11. Will laugh when I always ask for a kid's menu 12.Will dance around the house in a santa hat at Christmas time(aka Fun/funny) 13. Weeps for the orphans and widows ......etc. etc. etc.
As I got older over the years this list evolved, grew bigger and smaller... Now I'm almost 22 and I have a new list. :) Wanna read my new list? Here it is:
1. Loves Jesus with all of His heart, mind, soul and strength.
That's it. I'm not kidding!! When I meet a man who loves Jesus Christ with all of His heart, mind, soul and strength, then He's going to care about orphans. He's going to care about the poor. He's going to love and serve people. He's going to be a leader and a shepherd(naturally) because that's what Jesus was. He's gonna look like Jesus. If a man has this ONE quality. He will be basically everything else on my list. Jesus was full of life, and I KNOW He had fun. Jesus would have danced around at Christmas time with me. He would have laughed when I ask for a kids' menu.
You become what you behold. You are transformed into the One you love. If this man truly loves Jesus he will LOOK LIKE JESUS. And all of these things and qualities I'm looking for WILL BE THERE. You can't love Jesus and not love the poor. You can't love Jesus and not care about those who are suffering. You can't love Jesus and not have fun. You can't love Jesus and not have a sense of humor. You can't love Jesus and not have a beautiful heart. And I personally think/believe/know from experience that people who love Jesus are almost always GOOD LOOKING. I'm not just saying that. There's something in your eyes when you love Jesus that makes you so beautiful. The children of God are BEAUTIFUL. I have been around the world and seen those who truly love God and every one of them are BEAUTIFUL. No lie.
And also, the musical thing is definitely negotiable. He doesn't have to be that. I think I will be happy with or without it. :)
So now it will be super easy for me to spot this man. I only have to look for one thing :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
It's Time to Take a Break From Worry
It is so exhausting. It makes me collapse on the floor and lay there feeling helpless. "Look up.." He says, but I never do.
I'm tired. I'm so tired that I can't handle any more anxiety. He gets me to the point where I'm so tired that I HAVE to run into His arms or I won't make it.
I always forget. I always fear. I always worry. I always get anxious. It's one of my biggest struggles. And I really hate it.
I have those days where I feel like I can't handle my longing anymore. My longing for family/community, for real genuine worship, for raw, pure abandoned LOVE, for my husband, for the young people I'm called to be a mother to. I have so much longing and no outlet for it. What am I supposed to do with it? I can't do anything about it, but offer it to the Lord. And for the past couple of weeks, I haven't been offering it to Him. So it's absolutely worn me out and wearied my heart.
When longing fills up my heart to the point it feels like it's going to burst, and I don't give it to the Lord, it makes me faint and lose heart.
My journal's scribblings on March 15----
I can't do it. I can't do this anymore. I'm so weak. I keep falling. I keep losing heart. I keep getting weighed down and discouraged. I'm so scared. I need help. I can't do this alone. I can't stand being alone. I can't stand uncertainty anymore. It's too scary. I can't handle not knowing anything. I'm so scared. I can't do this. I can't do this anymore, Lord. I can't.
And you know something, I'm done, I am SO done. It is SO time to let go of fear, doubt and worry and CLING to His hand. I'm ready to let go, Lord, be with me.....
...When I heard your voice, when you said my name, when I heard your voice my heart it yearned in the middle of the night.....though You're far away, still I'm here to say I'm Yours, I'm Yours.
....You'll find me in the night, hold me in the night, open up my eyes and the Son will rise......
I'm tired. I'm so tired that I can't handle any more anxiety. He gets me to the point where I'm so tired that I HAVE to run into His arms or I won't make it.
I always forget. I always fear. I always worry. I always get anxious. It's one of my biggest struggles. And I really hate it.
I have those days where I feel like I can't handle my longing anymore. My longing for family/community, for real genuine worship, for raw, pure abandoned LOVE, for my husband, for the young people I'm called to be a mother to. I have so much longing and no outlet for it. What am I supposed to do with it? I can't do anything about it, but offer it to the Lord. And for the past couple of weeks, I haven't been offering it to Him. So it's absolutely worn me out and wearied my heart.
When longing fills up my heart to the point it feels like it's going to burst, and I don't give it to the Lord, it makes me faint and lose heart.
My journal's scribblings on March 15----
I can't do it. I can't do this anymore. I'm so weak. I keep falling. I keep losing heart. I keep getting weighed down and discouraged. I'm so scared. I need help. I can't do this alone. I can't stand being alone. I can't stand uncertainty anymore. It's too scary. I can't handle not knowing anything. I'm so scared. I can't do this. I can't do this anymore, Lord. I can't.
And you know something, I'm done, I am SO done. It is SO time to let go of fear, doubt and worry and CLING to His hand. I'm ready to let go, Lord, be with me.....
...When I heard your voice, when you said my name, when I heard your voice my heart it yearned in the middle of the night.....though You're far away, still I'm here to say I'm Yours, I'm Yours.
....You'll find me in the night, hold me in the night, open up my eyes and the Son will rise......
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Fearless!
Today as I was walking thinking about all the crazy stuff going on, the raging of the nations and rumors of wars, how EVERYTHING is getting super expensive, and how daunting and scary the future looks, I started getting some revelation.
Jesus SAID all this would happen. He said that we were going to hear of wars and rumors of wars. He asked the Father not to take us out of the world but to protect us from it. He SAID don't let your heart be troubled and don't be afraid. See that you are not alarmed. See that you don't get weighed down and disheartened.
And it occured to me that the way I've been feeling about it - how I've been getting anxious - is the way the world feels. That's the world's response to it all. Fear, doubt and worry are what the world feels when facing the unknown, uncertain future.
As a discpile my response should be totally different. I should be steady, grounded, unmoveable and unshakeable. I should be strong. I should be full of peace. I should look at all the shaking going on around me and a have a steadfast joy growing in my heart. A peace that transcends understanding (it's unnatural because how can someone have peace when everything is spinning out of control - that's why it transcends understanding) And a hope that does NOT disappoint.
I fear the LORD. There are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of promises for those who fear the LORD.
Promises that I can 100% bank on, stand on and stake my LIFE on.
Here are just a few of those promises:
He said He would take care of me.
He would never leave me.
Goodness and mercy would follow me.
I would be safe.
He would protect and hide me.
He would never let go of me.
WE ARE GOING TO BE OKAY.
WE WHO FEAR THE LORD ARE GOING TO BE TAKEN CARE OF, BLESSED, PROVIDED FOR AND PROTECTED.
Why should we fear? I want to be fearless.
When everything is shaking and spiraling out of control, I want to smile. Because I've got the LORD.
When I drive past the gas station and the sign says $5.00 a gallon, I want to sing.
When I hear of the unrest and conflict arising in the nations, I want to laugh.
My God is not weak, distant, powerless, apathetic, passive or lower than.
My God is the GREAT I AM, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, YAHWEH. The Holy One of Israel, JESUS CHRIST. The Risen Coming King.
His name I bear, and His mark I wear. So therefore I can sing in the face of fear and be absolutely FEARLESS.
Jesus SAID all this would happen. He said that we were going to hear of wars and rumors of wars. He asked the Father not to take us out of the world but to protect us from it. He SAID don't let your heart be troubled and don't be afraid. See that you are not alarmed. See that you don't get weighed down and disheartened.
And it occured to me that the way I've been feeling about it - how I've been getting anxious - is the way the world feels. That's the world's response to it all. Fear, doubt and worry are what the world feels when facing the unknown, uncertain future.
As a discpile my response should be totally different. I should be steady, grounded, unmoveable and unshakeable. I should be strong. I should be full of peace. I should look at all the shaking going on around me and a have a steadfast joy growing in my heart. A peace that transcends understanding (it's unnatural because how can someone have peace when everything is spinning out of control - that's why it transcends understanding) And a hope that does NOT disappoint.
I fear the LORD. There are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of promises for those who fear the LORD.
Promises that I can 100% bank on, stand on and stake my LIFE on.
Here are just a few of those promises:
He said He would take care of me.
He would never leave me.
Goodness and mercy would follow me.
I would be safe.
He would protect and hide me.
He would never let go of me.
WE ARE GOING TO BE OKAY.
WE WHO FEAR THE LORD ARE GOING TO BE TAKEN CARE OF, BLESSED, PROVIDED FOR AND PROTECTED.
Why should we fear? I want to be fearless.
When everything is shaking and spiraling out of control, I want to smile. Because I've got the LORD.
When I drive past the gas station and the sign says $5.00 a gallon, I want to sing.
When I hear of the unrest and conflict arising in the nations, I want to laugh.
My God is not weak, distant, powerless, apathetic, passive or lower than.
My God is the GREAT I AM, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, YAHWEH. The Holy One of Israel, JESUS CHRIST. The Risen Coming King.
His name I bear, and His mark I wear. So therefore I can sing in the face of fear and be absolutely FEARLESS.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)