Oh Sweet Uncertainty...

....How you draw me near to Him...

Here is just some random stuff that is currently reverberating in my mind over and over again...somehow I have to let it out:

God why am I here in Florida? What do you have for me to do here? What are YOU doing here? I want to get involved in what Youre doing. I want to be part of what you're doing EVERYWHERE in the world, but until You call me elsewhere, here I am in Titusville. So what's going on here? I don't wanna miss it!

I want to praypraypraypraypray, and dance, and sing, and disciple, and have prayer meetings, and sell all my stuff, and go. Everywhere. I want to find your heart in every place, in the most unexpected places. In every person I meet. I just wanna go! EVERYWHERE! This trip and that trip and this trip and then another trip! Packing up all my stuff, then unpacking again. Always ready to go wherever You call me...I want to go on a huge lifetime adventure. Never settling down. Me and you Jesus. And then me, you and my husband. Always trusting you to provide, depending on you for everything. Never looking back. Always taking risks, stepping out, holding our breath, and then laughing because we knew You'd be faithful. And having SO MUCH FUN for the rest of our lives! Here I am at home in titusville, living with my family, back in my bedroom, and I just want to GO! I want to move somewhere. Then I want to go somewhere else. Then somewhere else. FOREVER!!!!!

Where do all these desires tie together> I'm 20 years old, so, SO young, and my heart is so alive with hope and anticipation. How on earth will all these desires tie together? How will God do that? I can't see how any of it is gonna come together at all. Are these dreams conflicting with one another? Even just a little? I can't help wondering.

Or......has He placed each individual one in my heart with a glimmer in His eye and plans to fulfill them all? Somehow, something tells me that they are all supposed to be there. Every last one. That they're all gifts. That they are all a precious part of my DNA....they are from the Lord. That makes me so happy! My heart is so alive with expectancy. What will the Lord choose to do first??!?!?!!?!?