*SIGH*

Wow.
This morning I drove down to Freedom for church because some of my IHOP people were there!! I got to hear Stuart Greaves and Shelly Hundley speak, and Justin Rizzo play. YES!! A precious taste of what I miss...my beloved ihop. *SIGH*

When I merged onto the freeway heading home, I don't know what came over me, but I just felt the most amazing joy bubbling up inside me and I started laughing SO hard. I know I looked like a complete dork to anyone and everyone driving next to me but really WHO EVEN CARES! HAHAHA!

Clay Edwards "Father's Lullaby" was playing.."No eye can understand, no mind can comprehend the things I have in store for you...and I'll wipe away your tears, I'll remove all your fears, I'll make all things new!!...." I was singing along with it and when it crescendos to the higher/louder part : "I'LL MAKE ALL THINGS- HAHAHAHAHA NEWWWW- HAHAHA- WWWWW............ " I didn't even get to the new part, I just started laughing!!

I could not for the life of me wipe the smile off my face --- the ENTIRE way home. Seriously. I tried to stop smiling but it didn't work. I really tried so hard but I could NOT even stop smiling! Before I left the church I was so excited for the drive home because I was gonna SING SING SIIING SING SING to my ipod the WHOLE way, well so much for that. I couldn't even sing because I was just smiling. You know how when you're singing you can't unless you have a straight face!! Wow...hahahaha :) :)

It was SUCH a beautiful day!! OHHHHH HOW I LOVE FLORIDA! Perfect sunshine and perfect blue skies! I must have been going almost 100 mph. I had to keep making sure I was at least pretty close to the speed limit. Then I'd forget, and look down and see I'm going 95--GAHH!

So I came home with the biggest smile on my face. Well then later on after I ate lunch and stuff, I started thinking a lot about all the longing in my heart, and felt myself starting to get a tiny bit anxious because here we are going into week 5 of still not knowing anything. I;ve been good so far, every day having to ask for GRACE to do this day, and for Him to lead me perfectly TODAY. The song "Mystery" by Charlie Hall has been part of what I have clung to since I got home from Missouri. "Sweet Jesus Christ my sanity, sweet Jesus Christ my clarity. Bread of heaven broken for me, cup of salvation held out to drink...."

But there have been my days when I absolutely wonder how on earth am I going to do this? And is He ever going to answer me? I started to feel my heart going that direction today. So I changed out of my dress into some gym shorts and hopped on a bike and off I went. I rode to the huge bicycle path on the edge of our neighborhood. And as I was riding I kept saying over and over in my heart "God you've got to come through for me. God you've got to be faithful. I know you are, but SHOW ME. You have to be faithful." And I thought to myself "Remember this day. Remember these days, remember what you're feeling right now. Remember the dialogue between you and the Lord. Remember the way your heart is feeling. Don't waste it and don't let go of it. Because tomorrow this day is going to feel like a dream." And I got SO much revelation:

I remembered back to September of last year, when I was on an airplane coming home from my second trip to IHOP. I had to go into work the very next morning. And as I was looking out the window of that plane I got this sinking feeling in my heart. I thought "I have to wait 6 more months? 6 MORE MONTHS, when my heart is in another place? How on earth am I going to do this? God, how am I going to do this? How am I going to walk into work every morning for 6 more months when my heart is thousands of miles away? I'm not sure if I can do this..." and I started crying. I looked over at my friend sitting next to me who was happily listening to her ipod and almost asleep. My throat hurt for the rest of the flight because I didn't want to cry right then.

I remember that day so well, and so many others like it. I remember God speaking to me SO clearly one day at work, as I was looking out the window of my classroom while the kids were busy at their centers. Once again I had just asked Him "How am I going to do this?" And I got a clear answer right then: "One day at a time."

After He told me that, I got this resolve in my heart. "OK. OK. One day at a time. I can do this. I really can. One day at a time." What that meant was don't look ahead, don't worry about tomorrow. Today is your assignment. Today, when you have to go to work, is all you need to worry about. Just take care of TODAY. Just love those kids with your whole heart."

And I was thinking about all of that as I rode along in the sunshine, and how crazy it is how that time is gone. Its totally gone and I'll never get it back. Now it's been over a year later, and I'm back home. I felt Him smiling at me. I kept riding along the path, and I looked up and saw the city's water tower ahead of me. I stopped riding and just stood there, looking at it and at the road next to me and the trees on the opposite side. "Wow. Here I am, Lord"

*HUGE SIGH*

All I know , is that Yahweh is Yahweh. He is Sovereign over all, over me and my tiny little life, and He is faithful to my heart always.

Just another day.....here I go again <3