I have to be uncomfortable. There's no denying this is the kind of life I am supposed to live. My spirit is aching to be uncomfortable. I can't settle. I can not have coffee-shop Christianity. I can't do that. That would be a slap in the face to my own soul. My flesh is crying for typical, and my spirit is screaming for GENUINE! I want to follow! I have to carry my cross!
My youth pastor once said "JESUS DIDN'T DIE ON A PADDED CROSS SIPPING A CAPPUCCINO!" It has become one of my favorite quotes of all time because it bears witness to my spirit's longing. I CANNOT LIVE WITH MYSELF IN COMFORT!
Oh how I long for the real, genuine, discipleship that my King demands of me. I CAN'T SETTLE! I am so restless here in this place, because my spirit is denying everything my flesh has become accustomed to! What is a girl to do? But, no. I am not a mere girl. I am a disciple. A woman of God and a warrior.
My flesh is begging me to live. "Please, please, let me have my way! Please, please don't kill me, I'll give you everything you want! Please come hang with me and we'll get coffee and browse through the Scriptures til we find one that appeals to our craving for temporary inspiration and false 'Jesus highs' Please come with me and I'll lead you to a wonderful Christian husband and two kids, a dog and a white picket fence. Live the church lifestyle. Hang with your flesh and you can have it all!"
........But the cries of my spirit ring much louder and much more true:
"GO THE NARROW WAY! TAKE UP YOUR CROSS! Discipline yourself. Get uncomfortable. Get out of religion. Get out of bed. Get out of that comfy chair. Get out of that coffee shop. Get out there and get dirty. Get down on your knees. Get sweaty! Feed the hungry, care for the orphans and widows, help the homeless, pray for the sick. Get out of bed when the Spirit beckons, even if it is 2am. Roll on the floor with those kids whom I love. Get messy. Let your makeup run and your hair get crazy. Run outside through the rain! Weep, cry, be beaten up for my sake. Receive wounds and bruises, scrapes and cuts. Let tears stream down your face. Jump up and down, sing at the top of your lungs, play like a madman. JUST GET UNCOMFORTABLE!"
And I can no longer deny my spirit from this lifestyle. I will break free, I will get down and get uncomfortable, I will take up my cross, I will choose the adventurous way of the Disciple of Jesus Christ.
What will it cost?
Maybe not knowing what your next meal will be, or even if you will have another meal. Maybe not knowing the next place you will lay your head at night, or even the next time you will see the ones you love.
Extreme? Yes, it is.
But is this the narrow way? Yes.
I know that's my destiny in the future, but for now, in the meantime, what will it cost?
Maybe not having your hair and makeup perfect. Maybe not complaining when the little things don't go your way. Maybe smiling when you feel like crying.
WHAT AN ADVENTURE HE SETS BEFORE US...
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