Monday, April 23, 2012
I want a Heart that is Alive
I won't despise in my life that which makes me lean upon Christ.
For His strength is perfected in my weakness. I say yes.
I'd rather have the fire now and come out with a heart of gold.
At the end of my life the question will be, did I learn to love?
Was His likeness formed in me?
Let there be no resistance in me towards Your plan and Your hands.
You do everything it takes to keep me dependent, to keep Your strength manifesting through my weakness.
What does the Potter see in the clay that He molds it and forms it this way?
What's in His eyes that He does not despise this lump though it is yet unmade?
Round and round the Potter's wheel goes.
The right amount of pressure He knows to make me a vessel of honor to showcase His glory, to leak His beauty.
Caught a glimpse of Your beauty, Jesus. Tasted a love that surpasses all of life's pleasures.
Light is dancing all around You. Light is dancing all within You.
I see how You carried Your reward inside You. I see the smile dancing behind your eyes.
Could that smile that's in your eyes, be in mine all the days of my life?
Your delight is in the fear of the Lord, in living before Your Father's eyes, your Father's heart.
There's no shadow of turning, no compromise.
Could I carry my reward on the inside?
Jesus, You stand as a witness of what the Father will do with a life poured out.
It looked as though You had labored in vain.
But now you are seated at the highest place.
Could I carry my reward on the inside?
Could I have that life behind my eyes?
That joy that is incorruptible and surpasses understanding.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Longing
This season is unlike any other season in my life. I won't go into a lot of detail, but I am yearning for romance like never before. Living life with a longing heart is hard and there have been a lot of days when I just feel like collapsing on the floor out of emotional exhaustion and even hurt. I've been sowing a lot of tears. Which is good news, because... "Those who sow in tears will reap in laughter. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them." Psalm 126
But this has forced me to go farther. I have drawn near to the Lord like never before because of this. God has pulled my heart and drawn me in with loving kindness.
"Pull me a little closer, take me a little deeper, I want to know Your heart. Your love is so much sweeter than anything I've tasted. I want to know Your heart....."
"I need a hug on the inside. I need your voice in my mind. I need a touch where fingers can't go. I feel Your breath when I'm still now. I feel Your warmth when You come down. I'll trade the world for what You can do."
This is the cup of suffering and joy mingled together. It is so bittersweet. I know that I am being transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ. So I press on. <3
But this has forced me to go farther. I have drawn near to the Lord like never before because of this. God has pulled my heart and drawn me in with loving kindness.
"Pull me a little closer, take me a little deeper, I want to know Your heart. Your love is so much sweeter than anything I've tasted. I want to know Your heart....."
"I need a hug on the inside. I need your voice in my mind. I need a touch where fingers can't go. I feel Your breath when I'm still now. I feel Your warmth when You come down. I'll trade the world for what You can do."
This is the cup of suffering and joy mingled together. It is so bittersweet. I know that I am being transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ. So I press on. <3
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
All the Glory is His
All the good that is in me is from Him. I have no good in me apart from Him. Any beauty that anyone sees, any kindness, any joy, any love, any goodness, is all Him. It's Jesus. He is the glorious, worthy one. He is where all praise and glory is due.
Any time I have ever acted in love, kindness, gentleness, mercy, compassion, ANY GOODNESS AT ALL, it has been Jesus. It's HIM. It's His heart in me. He is alive in me.
I AM NOTHING WITHOUT HIM. With Him I am full of the fruit of the Spirit. Without Him I am selfish, self-seeking, self-absorbed, prideful, arrogant, everything I don't want to be. He is what makes me Beautiful. It's His Spirit. It's His character, His nature, His heart.
All the glory is His. Jesus has made me what I am. If you look at me and think I am beautiful, praise my Maker and sustainer.
All glory, honor and praise belongs to Him.
Any time I have ever acted in love, kindness, gentleness, mercy, compassion, ANY GOODNESS AT ALL, it has been Jesus. It's HIM. It's His heart in me. He is alive in me.
I AM NOTHING WITHOUT HIM. With Him I am full of the fruit of the Spirit. Without Him I am selfish, self-seeking, self-absorbed, prideful, arrogant, everything I don't want to be. He is what makes me Beautiful. It's His Spirit. It's His character, His nature, His heart.
All the glory is His. Jesus has made me what I am. If you look at me and think I am beautiful, praise my Maker and sustainer.
All glory, honor and praise belongs to Him.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
A Standard of Faithfulness
"Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" Proverbs 20:6
Faithful men are and have always been rare.
I have seen a few in my life. My 2 grandpas and my Dad are the ones I admire the most.
I have watched my grandparents' marriages for years and seen them grow closer and closer.
I have observed my Dad getting up every morning without fail to read his Bible before going to work. No matter how tired, weary or discouraged he is, he gets up every day again and is faithful in the mundane. He goes to my brothers' sports games. He supports me 100% in everything I do and have done.
A sure sign of someone's character is to watch them in the every-day, mundane, how they live their life. How do they do things that are done every day? How does their heart look and what attitude do they have? Are they steady? Do they keep going while keeping their heart soft before the Lord and not just checking-out?
I have seen very, very few of these people, but I have seen some. They are out there :)
Faithfulness is extremely rare especially in modern day American culture, and everywhere for that matter.
I will always hold faithfulness as one of the highest, most noble and admirable qualities a person can have.
Until I get married I will have high standards regarding faithfulness.... and I will marry someone like my Daddy <3
Faithful men are and have always been rare.
I have seen a few in my life. My 2 grandpas and my Dad are the ones I admire the most.
I have watched my grandparents' marriages for years and seen them grow closer and closer.
I have observed my Dad getting up every morning without fail to read his Bible before going to work. No matter how tired, weary or discouraged he is, he gets up every day again and is faithful in the mundane. He goes to my brothers' sports games. He supports me 100% in everything I do and have done.
A sure sign of someone's character is to watch them in the every-day, mundane, how they live their life. How do they do things that are done every day? How does their heart look and what attitude do they have? Are they steady? Do they keep going while keeping their heart soft before the Lord and not just checking-out?
I have seen very, very few of these people, but I have seen some. They are out there :)
Faithfulness is extremely rare especially in modern day American culture, and everywhere for that matter.
I will always hold faithfulness as one of the highest, most noble and admirable qualities a person can have.
Until I get married I will have high standards regarding faithfulness.... and I will marry someone like my Daddy <3
Thursday, March 1, 2012
At the End of the Day
Pressure's on. Time is short, and learning to manage time and use free time wisely is one of the most important tasks one could ever master.
I always feel, before my head hits the pillow at night, a tiny twinge of hunger. With that comes a train of thoughts: "I need to do more." ......."I need to start upping my workouts to an hour or maybe an hour and a half. I need to go to bed on time. I need to figure out my finances. I need to really read up on the presidential candidates and do some real research. I need to read the news and find out what's going on in the world. I need to really know what's happening. I need to call this person. I need to catch up with so-and-so. I need to work on my relationships with people and really invest in them. I need to send so-and-so a letter/card/email/gift. I need to sit down with so-and-so and share my heart with them. I need to make sure I'm prioritizing what's most important to me. I need to.........." on and on and on.
And what ends up happening, is I just think of what I need to do, and I don't ever actually do it. And I just keep knowing that I really need to do it. That's not getting anywhere.
There is one thing above all else that must take first place. This must be the one absolutely necessary thing, that if nothing else gets done, this does. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT.
See, this ONE thing, will make all of that other stuff fall into place.
INTIMACY. Intimacy with Jesus. I must have intimacy. I must keep my secret place alive. I must guard the flame within.
One thing I have learned over the past 6 years is that you must have daily bread. You can't keep going on what God gave to you yesterday. It's just like the manna in the wilderness. The Israelites could only have that day's portion that the Lord provided, and if they tried to save any in order to "stock up", the manna would go bad overnight and they would wake up to find it.
What has God spoken to me TODAY?
What did I learn today?
What did my heart grow in today?
What did the Lord and I talk about today?
Sometimes I feel like I have this temptation to ask myself those questions and then answer them with "Well the past few weeks I've been feeling this .....or this...." and I have a feeling that's not what the Lord is after. At all.
I want my relationship with God to be THRIVING. I want it to show in my face, in my eyes, in my smile, in my vibrant joy, that I KNOW GOD. I want the world to see so evidently that I know the LORD. And we talk, and we're tight.
Intimacy is the one thing. And truly, everything else, FALLS into place. If you get the first things first, everything else follows in its proper place.
- GLORY FOLLOWS ORDER -
When the sun is setting, I want to feel so close to the Lord. When I lay my head on my pillow at night, I want to be full from my portion. I want to be satisfied from my daily bread.
At the end of the day this is all that matters.
I always feel, before my head hits the pillow at night, a tiny twinge of hunger. With that comes a train of thoughts: "I need to do more." ......."I need to start upping my workouts to an hour or maybe an hour and a half. I need to go to bed on time. I need to figure out my finances. I need to really read up on the presidential candidates and do some real research. I need to read the news and find out what's going on in the world. I need to really know what's happening. I need to call this person. I need to catch up with so-and-so. I need to work on my relationships with people and really invest in them. I need to send so-and-so a letter/card/email/gift. I need to sit down with so-and-so and share my heart with them. I need to make sure I'm prioritizing what's most important to me. I need to.........." on and on and on.
And what ends up happening, is I just think of what I need to do, and I don't ever actually do it. And I just keep knowing that I really need to do it. That's not getting anywhere.
There is one thing above all else that must take first place. This must be the one absolutely necessary thing, that if nothing else gets done, this does. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT.
See, this ONE thing, will make all of that other stuff fall into place.
INTIMACY. Intimacy with Jesus. I must have intimacy. I must keep my secret place alive. I must guard the flame within.
One thing I have learned over the past 6 years is that you must have daily bread. You can't keep going on what God gave to you yesterday. It's just like the manna in the wilderness. The Israelites could only have that day's portion that the Lord provided, and if they tried to save any in order to "stock up", the manna would go bad overnight and they would wake up to find it.
What has God spoken to me TODAY?
What did I learn today?
What did my heart grow in today?
What did the Lord and I talk about today?
Sometimes I feel like I have this temptation to ask myself those questions and then answer them with "Well the past few weeks I've been feeling this .....or this...." and I have a feeling that's not what the Lord is after. At all.
I want my relationship with God to be THRIVING. I want it to show in my face, in my eyes, in my smile, in my vibrant joy, that I KNOW GOD. I want the world to see so evidently that I know the LORD. And we talk, and we're tight.
Intimacy is the one thing. And truly, everything else, FALLS into place. If you get the first things first, everything else follows in its proper place.
- GLORY FOLLOWS ORDER -
When the sun is setting, I want to feel so close to the Lord. When I lay my head on my pillow at night, I want to be full from my portion. I want to be satisfied from my daily bread.
At the end of the day this is all that matters.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I'll Wait Here
The King has called me.
He has given me life.
I'm wearing a white dress.
I feel breathtaking and beautiful.
I carry in my hands a white rose in full bloom.
My heart has been awakened, and I am fully alive.
I stand watching as people come and go, wondering when someone will notice me and think I am beautiful. It's been a while and no one has stopped yet. But I stand and I wait, and I keep watching.
I'm getting older.
"The wait is slow, and we've got so far to go. Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE, HOLD ON."
I close my eyes and smell the rose. It's fragrance is sweet and fresh. I open my eyes and my heart beats faster as I see others being chosen and taken home. Will someone choose me and take me home?
I stand taller when the Father's love fills me and gives me great hope. The hope in my heart makes me glowing and radiant. This hope rises daily and grows stronger.
I see others around me being chosen now. My dress is still pure white, my rose still smells sweet, and hope still fills my heart. The look in my eyes is one of peace and satisfaction but also of longing and yearning to be chosen.
I wait. I stand here and I wait. Then I stop watching what's going on around me, and I turn my eyes to my Father. Those who look to Him will never be ashamed. Once again His love washes over me and fills me with hope.
I stand here and I wait. I will not move from this place. I trust my Father.
And then I hear voices around me. They are watching me. They are talking. It seems as if they are trying to make a decision. They walk away. More come and do the same thing. Some together, some alone. But they all walk away. I watch for a long time as this keeps happening.
"Father, my heart!" I cry with longing. Is my rose going to wilt and die? What about my dress? What about all that's in my heart?
Yet once again I turn my eyes to Him. But this time I keep them there. My gaze will not move from here. I will not look at anything else but Him.
As my gaze is fixed on the King of Glory, I feel a hand taking my rose. As he smells its fragrance, he takes hold of my hand.
I have been chosen.
<3
He has given me life.
I'm wearing a white dress.
I feel breathtaking and beautiful.
I carry in my hands a white rose in full bloom.
My heart has been awakened, and I am fully alive.
I stand watching as people come and go, wondering when someone will notice me and think I am beautiful. It's been a while and no one has stopped yet. But I stand and I wait, and I keep watching.
I'm getting older.
"The wait is slow, and we've got so far to go. Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE, HOLD ON."
I close my eyes and smell the rose. It's fragrance is sweet and fresh. I open my eyes and my heart beats faster as I see others being chosen and taken home. Will someone choose me and take me home?
I stand taller when the Father's love fills me and gives me great hope. The hope in my heart makes me glowing and radiant. This hope rises daily and grows stronger.
I see others around me being chosen now. My dress is still pure white, my rose still smells sweet, and hope still fills my heart. The look in my eyes is one of peace and satisfaction but also of longing and yearning to be chosen.
I wait. I stand here and I wait. Then I stop watching what's going on around me, and I turn my eyes to my Father. Those who look to Him will never be ashamed. Once again His love washes over me and fills me with hope.
I stand here and I wait. I will not move from this place. I trust my Father.
And then I hear voices around me. They are watching me. They are talking. It seems as if they are trying to make a decision. They walk away. More come and do the same thing. Some together, some alone. But they all walk away. I watch for a long time as this keeps happening.
"Father, my heart!" I cry with longing. Is my rose going to wilt and die? What about my dress? What about all that's in my heart?
Yet once again I turn my eyes to Him. But this time I keep them there. My gaze will not move from here. I will not look at anything else but Him.
As my gaze is fixed on the King of Glory, I feel a hand taking my rose. As he smells its fragrance, he takes hold of my hand.
I have been chosen.
<3
Saturday, January 28, 2012
The Loudest Heartcry
I want REALITY. I want my relationship with God to be REAL. I want our love to be real. I want to be anchored and grounded and deeply rooted in LOVE that is REAL. I want to walk in the fullness.
I don't just want to pray about knowing God and encountering God, I want to actually encounter Him.
A friend of mine the other day pulled me aside and gave me a prophetic word about experiencing God and having a double portion of every dream the Lord and I dreamed about together in Africa. That I will receive double of all that!! And also that there is so much more for me and my relationship and intimacy with God, and just KNOWING GOD, that it will be real and more than words and rhetoric. I WANT THAT SO BAD!!!!!
I WANT TO KNOW GOD! I WANT TO EXPERIENCE HIM MORE THAN I DID WHEN I WAS 16 AND 17.
I WANT MORE AND I WANT THE FULLNESS!
I am so hungry for more of Him. I truly am. Not just because I am here in a place where my heart thrives. Not just because I get to do what I love to do every single day of my life. But because I NEED HIM. He is stirring up my passion and hunger and I want it to be the desire that cries the loudest!
I want my heart cry to know God to be louder than all the other cries of my heart. I want it to be louder than the cry for love and intimacy with a man. I want it to be louder than the cry for revival in America and in the nations. I want it to be louder than the cry to be seen and known and appreciated.
I WANT IT TO BE THE LOUDEST CRY THAT IS RISING FROM MY HEART. I WANT TO KNOW GOD. I WANT TO LOVE GOD. I WANT HIM.
I don't want to know just what he does, or the way he works, or what he is like. I want to KNOW HIM!!!!!!
If there was a person that i really wanted to meet and get to know, I wouldn't be satisfied with just knowing what they do. Or who they act like. Or the way they do things. No way, I would want to KNOW THEM. To spend time with them and talk to them and REALLY GET TO KNOW THEIR HEART.
That is how I want to know God.
And Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to do that. To go beyond the veil and SEE HIS FACE.
Hallelujah. My heart cries to know God. LORD, LET THIS CRY RING THE LOUDEST AND STRONGEST! AND ANSWER THIS HEART CRY!!!!!!! MORE THAN ANY OTHER HEARTCRY!
I don't just want to pray about knowing God and encountering God, I want to actually encounter Him.
A friend of mine the other day pulled me aside and gave me a prophetic word about experiencing God and having a double portion of every dream the Lord and I dreamed about together in Africa. That I will receive double of all that!! And also that there is so much more for me and my relationship and intimacy with God, and just KNOWING GOD, that it will be real and more than words and rhetoric. I WANT THAT SO BAD!!!!!
I WANT TO KNOW GOD! I WANT TO EXPERIENCE HIM MORE THAN I DID WHEN I WAS 16 AND 17.
I WANT MORE AND I WANT THE FULLNESS!
I am so hungry for more of Him. I truly am. Not just because I am here in a place where my heart thrives. Not just because I get to do what I love to do every single day of my life. But because I NEED HIM. He is stirring up my passion and hunger and I want it to be the desire that cries the loudest!
I want my heart cry to know God to be louder than all the other cries of my heart. I want it to be louder than the cry for love and intimacy with a man. I want it to be louder than the cry for revival in America and in the nations. I want it to be louder than the cry to be seen and known and appreciated.
I WANT IT TO BE THE LOUDEST CRY THAT IS RISING FROM MY HEART. I WANT TO KNOW GOD. I WANT TO LOVE GOD. I WANT HIM.
I don't want to know just what he does, or the way he works, or what he is like. I want to KNOW HIM!!!!!!
If there was a person that i really wanted to meet and get to know, I wouldn't be satisfied with just knowing what they do. Or who they act like. Or the way they do things. No way, I would want to KNOW THEM. To spend time with them and talk to them and REALLY GET TO KNOW THEIR HEART.
That is how I want to know God.
And Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to do that. To go beyond the veil and SEE HIS FACE.
Hallelujah. My heart cries to know God. LORD, LET THIS CRY RING THE LOUDEST AND STRONGEST! AND ANSWER THIS HEART CRY!!!!!!! MORE THAN ANY OTHER HEARTCRY!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Who I Am
I am the purchased possession of God. I am His, 100%. I belong to Him.
When I pray, things move. When I pray the heavens open, because I am His child. I declare things into the earth from a position of authority and ruler-ship with Christ.
I SPEAK HIS WORDS. What He tells me is what I say.
I proclaim liberty to the captives. I proclaim hope to the hopeless. I proclaim life to the dead. I proclaim peace to the restless. I proclaim healing to the broken. I proclaim justice for the oppressed.
Drug addicts are set free. The power of sexual immorality is broken. Little children are set free out of brothels. Prostitutes are washed clean and made whole. Poverty is vanquished. The eyes of the blind are opened and the ears of the deaf are unstopped. The lame can walk, and the dead are raised. Injustice is overthrown. The sleeping church will awaken and arise and become the beautiful Bride Jesus purchased.
Chains fall off when I pray.
Darkness flees when I pray.
Awakening comes when I pray.
The Glory of God falls when I pray.
The enemy runs and hides when I pray.
There is nothing else that I would rather do with my life.
This is why I am here in Kansas City Missouri and not at college earning a degree. The awakening Jesus Christ breathed upon my heart has made me do some crazy things. Things I would have never done otherwise. Such as go live in the heat and dirt of Africa in a tiny house with 14 people and eat rice and beans every day. Such as save up all my money and use all my savings to come spend my life praying throughout the night. Jesus Christ has wrecked my life, and it's made me do some crazy things. I will continue to do crazy things with my life in the future because of Him. I will open my home to anyone and everyone. I will bring home orphans and provide them with a safe family. I will adopt and care for foster children that would have otherwise gone through family after family never feeling like they belong to anyone. I will travel to the ends of the earth carrying His presence and see things happen. Nations transform.
I wouldn't have it any other way. I am forever bound to this purpose. I will give my life to Him. HE IS WORTHY!!!!!!!!!
When I pray, things move. When I pray the heavens open, because I am His child. I declare things into the earth from a position of authority and ruler-ship with Christ.
I SPEAK HIS WORDS. What He tells me is what I say.
I proclaim liberty to the captives. I proclaim hope to the hopeless. I proclaim life to the dead. I proclaim peace to the restless. I proclaim healing to the broken. I proclaim justice for the oppressed.
Drug addicts are set free. The power of sexual immorality is broken. Little children are set free out of brothels. Prostitutes are washed clean and made whole. Poverty is vanquished. The eyes of the blind are opened and the ears of the deaf are unstopped. The lame can walk, and the dead are raised. Injustice is overthrown. The sleeping church will awaken and arise and become the beautiful Bride Jesus purchased.
Chains fall off when I pray.
Darkness flees when I pray.
Awakening comes when I pray.
The Glory of God falls when I pray.
The enemy runs and hides when I pray.
There is nothing else that I would rather do with my life.
This is why I am here in Kansas City Missouri and not at college earning a degree. The awakening Jesus Christ breathed upon my heart has made me do some crazy things. Things I would have never done otherwise. Such as go live in the heat and dirt of Africa in a tiny house with 14 people and eat rice and beans every day. Such as save up all my money and use all my savings to come spend my life praying throughout the night. Jesus Christ has wrecked my life, and it's made me do some crazy things. I will continue to do crazy things with my life in the future because of Him. I will open my home to anyone and everyone. I will bring home orphans and provide them with a safe family. I will adopt and care for foster children that would have otherwise gone through family after family never feeling like they belong to anyone. I will travel to the ends of the earth carrying His presence and see things happen. Nations transform.
I wouldn't have it any other way. I am forever bound to this purpose. I will give my life to Him. HE IS WORTHY!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Daddy is a Dreamer
To dream is to create. Dreaming makes things happen.
These are some of my notes from Dutch Sheets' message at RAMP Georgia. SO, SO, SO GOOD!!!!!
The main reason I am a dreamer is because God wants outlets to fulfill His dreams. I am an outlet for His dreams to be released into the earth. First He dreamed OF me, and now He dreams THROUGH me. All of my dreams are not just MY dreams, they are God's dreams. And His are much bigger than I even know. God wants friends to share His dreams with, not servants or robots. We are on a quest not just to see our dreams fulfilled but a quest for friendship.
And a word God spoke to me: "Dream with me. Don't doubt what I've put inside you. Everything you want is in my will. Your desires and will are completely aligned to me. Your dreams are mine. Dreamer, dream! Don't worry about how it's going to happen. Learn not to care or fret about how it's going to look. I'M doing this-this is MY dream- and you are partnering with me to fulfill it. We have the same heart. I have found a friend in you. YOU KNOW ME. And I KNOW YOU. I know what I'm doing. Don't worry. I know how to make this happen. Keep on dreaming and don't stop. DON'T WORRY.
I'm very good at making dreams come true. :)
"God you are the maker of every happy ending. You are the hero in every story. And all the glory is Yours." ~Laura Woodley Osman
These are some of my notes from Dutch Sheets' message at RAMP Georgia. SO, SO, SO GOOD!!!!!
The main reason I am a dreamer is because God wants outlets to fulfill His dreams. I am an outlet for His dreams to be released into the earth. First He dreamed OF me, and now He dreams THROUGH me. All of my dreams are not just MY dreams, they are God's dreams. And His are much bigger than I even know. God wants friends to share His dreams with, not servants or robots. We are on a quest not just to see our dreams fulfilled but a quest for friendship.
And a word God spoke to me: "Dream with me. Don't doubt what I've put inside you. Everything you want is in my will. Your desires and will are completely aligned to me. Your dreams are mine. Dreamer, dream! Don't worry about how it's going to happen. Learn not to care or fret about how it's going to look. I'M doing this-this is MY dream- and you are partnering with me to fulfill it. We have the same heart. I have found a friend in you. YOU KNOW ME. And I KNOW YOU. I know what I'm doing. Don't worry. I know how to make this happen. Keep on dreaming and don't stop. DON'T WORRY.
I'm very good at making dreams come true. :)
"God you are the maker of every happy ending. You are the hero in every story. And all the glory is Yours." ~Laura Woodley Osman
Friday, December 16, 2011
COMPASSION/LOVE
I just passed a homeless man on my walk. I looked him in the eyes. He didn't look back, he was looking at the ground. In his eyes I saw a lot of pain and suffering.
I just think about his life. When he was a kid and a teenager, he never once thought "One day I'm going to be homeless." NEVER! I wonder how he grew up, what his childhood and youth was like. I wonder what kind of dreams he had. What he wanted to be when he grew up.
He's probably had a wife and maybe some kids. What happened to them? What happened in his life that led to homelessness?
The body of Christ is supposed to take care of him.
No one is supposed to be wandering around every day from place to place trying to find their next place to sleep or their next meal. THAT IS INJUSTICE.
And then I thought of how those are the people Jesus wants sitting at the front of his table with him at the wedding feast. He wants them to eat all they can hold of the abundant food and he wants to talk and laugh with them and hear their stories and tell them a story- and call them out of where they've been into that story, into a new life.
We are supposed to do more than look them in the eyes. We are supposed to do more than smile at them or say hi to them. We are supposed to do more than give them a little food or money.
We are supposed to LOVE them. We're supposed to be their friend.
Jesus doesn't want merely our hands, our resources, our posessions, our food/money/clothes. All of that is good, but he wants our HEART. "...And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:3
If our heart is not in it- if we're just tossing a few dollars their way because we'll feel guilty if we don't, then we don't really have love. If we're just giving them some food or buying them a meal because we feel sorry for them, then we don't really have love. Compassion is a wonderful thing. But compassion and love are two different things.
Compassion is an OUTFLOW of love. If you don't really have love, your compassion is just pity.
From the place of love, we are to lead them to Jesus and to salvation. This is the end-goal of all reaching out. Souls will be saved. Lost ones will come into the Kingdom as sons and daughters.
And broken, lost, oppressed, hurting, suffering, abandoned, fatherless, hungry, needy, dying people will take their place at the table for the wedding feast. They will know the sacrifice of Jesus that enables them to know the Father's love.
"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David."
Isaiah 55:1-3
Jesus paid for the ones that the world doesn't even take a second look at - the ones who are overlooked and even despised and oppressed.
I just think about his life. When he was a kid and a teenager, he never once thought "One day I'm going to be homeless." NEVER! I wonder how he grew up, what his childhood and youth was like. I wonder what kind of dreams he had. What he wanted to be when he grew up.
He's probably had a wife and maybe some kids. What happened to them? What happened in his life that led to homelessness?
The body of Christ is supposed to take care of him.
No one is supposed to be wandering around every day from place to place trying to find their next place to sleep or their next meal. THAT IS INJUSTICE.
And then I thought of how those are the people Jesus wants sitting at the front of his table with him at the wedding feast. He wants them to eat all they can hold of the abundant food and he wants to talk and laugh with them and hear their stories and tell them a story- and call them out of where they've been into that story, into a new life.
We are supposed to do more than look them in the eyes. We are supposed to do more than smile at them or say hi to them. We are supposed to do more than give them a little food or money.
We are supposed to LOVE them. We're supposed to be their friend.
Jesus doesn't want merely our hands, our resources, our posessions, our food/money/clothes. All of that is good, but he wants our HEART. "...And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:3
If our heart is not in it- if we're just tossing a few dollars their way because we'll feel guilty if we don't, then we don't really have love. If we're just giving them some food or buying them a meal because we feel sorry for them, then we don't really have love. Compassion is a wonderful thing. But compassion and love are two different things.
Compassion is an OUTFLOW of love. If you don't really have love, your compassion is just pity.
From the place of love, we are to lead them to Jesus and to salvation. This is the end-goal of all reaching out. Souls will be saved. Lost ones will come into the Kingdom as sons and daughters.
And broken, lost, oppressed, hurting, suffering, abandoned, fatherless, hungry, needy, dying people will take their place at the table for the wedding feast. They will know the sacrifice of Jesus that enables them to know the Father's love.
"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David."
Isaiah 55:1-3
Jesus paid for the ones that the world doesn't even take a second look at - the ones who are overlooked and even despised and oppressed.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Just getting my thoughts out
I'm working a new job. With a lot of hours. I like it, and I get a lot of work done, and I enjoy it because when I work I feel like I am actually WORKING and not sitting around all day. At my job it's hard to get bored. Which is EXTREMELY good for me. Anyway, so I'm cleaning houses all over Florida. There's a lot of driving involved, but I don't mind it. I also like this job because it's not the same setting every day. I get to work in different surroundings every day, there's new houses. So I like that about it.
Other than that, I am just trying to enjoy my family and relax and rest during these holiday months toward the end of the year, after all the traveling and crazy adventures I have had this year. I want to just enjoy these months before I move out at the end of the year. I am moving to Kansas City, back to the International House of Prayer. I LOVE the midwest, I think it is BEAUTIFUL, and the perfect setting for the next phase of my life. God has put so many desires in my heart and I am actually surprised, because I never would have thought this would be what I wanted a few years ago. But He has done so much work on me and aligned my heart to His, and so my heart's desires are the same as His. So I can't wait to be in the midwest :)
I am still pretty uncertain about my future, but now I have a lot of peace. I have days when it gets overwhelming and I just want to know something. But then I am reminded that I DO know something. I know Who I belong to , and I know He is always with me, and He is my Shepherd. He has never failed me, and He has never been unfaithful to my heart.
Right now I am at a place in life where I just can't wait for someone to know me, to know my heart. I feel like for 5 years I have had so much going on in my heart and my Father has done so much work on me and I have had so much intimacy with just Him. And He has been really, my only outlet for all of the fullness in my heart, with a few exceptions. But now I am so, so ready for an exchangeof 2 hearts that have been feeling the same things for a long time. I'm so ready to know and be known and to share. I'm so ready for connection and intimacy. And it is so hard to wait on that, when I don't know when it will happen.
But I am just going to keep letting my Shepherd lead me. I am going after what He has put in my heart. I am running after Him, and I'm just going to keep my eyes on Him. If I look to Him, and wait on Him, I will not be ashamed. There is so much joy He has in store for me. I KNOW. And I will not be disappointed. I am going to watch with wide eyes, amazed and joyful at His plans for me. I trust my Father completeley.
Other than that, I am just trying to enjoy my family and relax and rest during these holiday months toward the end of the year, after all the traveling and crazy adventures I have had this year. I want to just enjoy these months before I move out at the end of the year. I am moving to Kansas City, back to the International House of Prayer. I LOVE the midwest, I think it is BEAUTIFUL, and the perfect setting for the next phase of my life. God has put so many desires in my heart and I am actually surprised, because I never would have thought this would be what I wanted a few years ago. But He has done so much work on me and aligned my heart to His, and so my heart's desires are the same as His. So I can't wait to be in the midwest :)
I am still pretty uncertain about my future, but now I have a lot of peace. I have days when it gets overwhelming and I just want to know something. But then I am reminded that I DO know something. I know Who I belong to , and I know He is always with me, and He is my Shepherd. He has never failed me, and He has never been unfaithful to my heart.
Right now I am at a place in life where I just can't wait for someone to know me, to know my heart. I feel like for 5 years I have had so much going on in my heart and my Father has done so much work on me and I have had so much intimacy with just Him. And He has been really, my only outlet for all of the fullness in my heart, with a few exceptions. But now I am so, so ready for an exchangeof 2 hearts that have been feeling the same things for a long time. I'm so ready to know and be known and to share. I'm so ready for connection and intimacy. And it is so hard to wait on that, when I don't know when it will happen.
But I am just going to keep letting my Shepherd lead me. I am going after what He has put in my heart. I am running after Him, and I'm just going to keep my eyes on Him. If I look to Him, and wait on Him, I will not be ashamed. There is so much joy He has in store for me. I KNOW. And I will not be disappointed. I am going to watch with wide eyes, amazed and joyful at His plans for me. I trust my Father completeley.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I Love Jesus
I've been thinking about the Kingdom. How I've been walking hand in hand with Jesus for 5 almost 6 years. And I've been finding out some interesting things. I find that no matter where I go, my heart and longings remain the same. No place I can go on this earth will make my heart stop longing for His return, to see the wrong things made right, to see justice rain down, to see the earth filled with His glory as the waters cover the sea. No place I go will take away the hunger inside of me. No matter where I am, it's always the same. Jesus has to come back.
I also find that it doesn't matter what ministry I am a part of. I don't care. I never wanted to be a missionary. I never wanted to be an advocate for the children who are sex-trafficked, I never wanted to be a voice for the 50,000,000+ babies who are aborted, I never wanted to be a youth leader. I never wanted to be a worship leader. I just love Jesus! It all comes naturally from that.
I don't care what my title is. And I don't care if I am at IHOP, or The Ramp, or Morning Star, or Bethel, or Iris, or a Place for the Heart. I don't care who I am associated with! I JUST LOVE JESUS! It doesn't matter what ministry I am with. I want to sit and talk with a homeless man and when he asks me "So what church are you with" I want to say "I just love Jesus! I'm not with any church, I'm just a person who loves Jesus" This doesn't mean that I want to be independant and not in a family/community of people, or part of a church, but I just want the world to know that it's not about that. It's about Jesus, and I want the lost to see LOVE, not a church,Not a ministry, not any of that. I want the world to see Jesus.
I am all about the Kingdom. I am all about Awakening. I am all about BEING REAL!!!! This is my heart. I don't want to start a ministry, with a title, with a website or anything like that. I don't care if that ever happens. I just want the world to know Jesus. I don't want to be labeled. I want the world to see WHO JESUS IS. It's not about ME or my church or my ministry or anything. IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
I will live the rest of my life, wherever I am, and just simply love people. And be real, and show them the Kingdom. And show them LOVE, and teach them how to walk the narrow way. And point them to Jesus. That will be my ministry. And it won't have to ever have a title. I won't call it anything. IT'S JUST THE KINGDOM!! IT'S HOW JESUS LIVED.
That, and I will live the rest of my life before His eyes. I don't care if I am ever on a stage or platform, or if I ever have a microphone in my hand, or a crowd in front of me. I am perfectly content to live before His eyes, on my knees in my bedroom. I don't care if anyone ever sees me. Not that I don't want anyone to see me, or that I just want to hide away forever. But if I am given a stage or not doesn't really matter to me. Whether I have a crowd watching me or not, doesn't really matter. I will be fine with it, and fine without it.
I also find that it doesn't matter what ministry I am a part of. I don't care. I never wanted to be a missionary. I never wanted to be an advocate for the children who are sex-trafficked, I never wanted to be a voice for the 50,000,000+ babies who are aborted, I never wanted to be a youth leader. I never wanted to be a worship leader. I just love Jesus! It all comes naturally from that.
I don't care what my title is. And I don't care if I am at IHOP, or The Ramp, or Morning Star, or Bethel, or Iris, or a Place for the Heart. I don't care who I am associated with! I JUST LOVE JESUS! It doesn't matter what ministry I am with. I want to sit and talk with a homeless man and when he asks me "So what church are you with" I want to say "I just love Jesus! I'm not with any church, I'm just a person who loves Jesus" This doesn't mean that I want to be independant and not in a family/community of people, or part of a church, but I just want the world to know that it's not about that. It's about Jesus, and I want the lost to see LOVE, not a church,Not a ministry, not any of that. I want the world to see Jesus.
I am all about the Kingdom. I am all about Awakening. I am all about BEING REAL!!!! This is my heart. I don't want to start a ministry, with a title, with a website or anything like that. I don't care if that ever happens. I just want the world to know Jesus. I don't want to be labeled. I want the world to see WHO JESUS IS. It's not about ME or my church or my ministry or anything. IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
I will live the rest of my life, wherever I am, and just simply love people. And be real, and show them the Kingdom. And show them LOVE, and teach them how to walk the narrow way. And point them to Jesus. That will be my ministry. And it won't have to ever have a title. I won't call it anything. IT'S JUST THE KINGDOM!! IT'S HOW JESUS LIVED.
That, and I will live the rest of my life before His eyes. I don't care if I am ever on a stage or platform, or if I ever have a microphone in my hand, or a crowd in front of me. I am perfectly content to live before His eyes, on my knees in my bedroom. I don't care if anyone ever sees me. Not that I don't want anyone to see me, or that I just want to hide away forever. But if I am given a stage or not doesn't really matter to me. Whether I have a crowd watching me or not, doesn't really matter. I will be fine with it, and fine without it.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I put my eyes on the Unchanging One
Everything is always changing. Growing up you have to get used to that. People will always come and go in and out of your life. People will always move away. Someone will always be graduating, getting married, having a baby, or dying. People will constantly come and go. Life is so crazy but in those times when it seems like everything is so chaotic and you can't even keep up with it all, God will carry you.
God is the only one who doesn't change. He isn't going anywhere. He will be the same God if you go across oceans to a distant land. He is unchanging and He will never fail. He is constant and He is a Rock. When everything is shaking around you, He will hold you steady, so you won't be moved. Cling to Him. When the world is spiraling out of control and everything is in complete chaos, God will not fail you. He never leaves and He's always there, wherever you go, you can't get away from Him.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:7-12
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8
I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 16:8
God is the only one who doesn't change. He isn't going anywhere. He will be the same God if you go across oceans to a distant land. He is unchanging and He will never fail. He is constant and He is a Rock. When everything is shaking around you, He will hold you steady, so you won't be moved. Cling to Him. When the world is spiraling out of control and everything is in complete chaos, God will not fail you. He never leaves and He's always there, wherever you go, you can't get away from Him.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:7-12
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8
I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 16:8
Thursday, August 25, 2011
I have the BEST Dad!!!!!!!
I am SO blessed. Jesus truly provides not only EVERYTHING we need, but also beautiful things to bless us. I am so blessed.
I prayed about coming back to Kansas City while I was in Africa this summer. God really taught me how to trust Him and how to keep hope alive and stay steadfast when everything changes. When I don't know what's going on or anything that is going to happen. He taught me how to have perfect peace in the midst of it all. I am so amazed and grateful for the lessons he taught me this summer. He is the best teacher in the world because as He teaches you, He walks through it WITH you. When God teaches His children, he actually does the lessons with them. Wow. Thank you God.
I had no idea how soon I would actually be back here! Not even a week after I got home from Africa God provided a way. Wow. He is so faithful to my heart.
I'm going back to Florida for a month or so to spend more time with my family and friends before I move. But right now the Lord has blessed me SO much with 2 weeks of rest and sweet prayer. I am staying with a friend and she has given me my own room with a really comfortable bed. I wake up around 3 pm and open my windows and watch every day as the sun goes down and paints the sky beautiful bright colors. I sing and worship, and the Lord and I go through my journal pages about my future husband. And then I go to the prayer room where for 8 hours all night I get to dance, sing and pray for the nations. I LOVE doing what makes me come alive. There's just something about the night time :) I have been going to the prayer room at around 10pm every night and staying until 6am. I love the nightwatch, it is the coolest thing ever. God does so much to me while I am in his presence. You can't be in his presence and not be changed.
Last night I was reading in Isaiah and my eyes happened to jump over the page at the chapter before, chapter 23. I love when God shows you some hidden treasure in his word that you never even saw before. It's Isaiah 23:17,18.
"At the end of seventy years, the LORD will deal with Tyre. She will return to her hire as a prostitute and will ply her trade with all the kingdoms on the face of the earth. YET HER PROFIT AND HER EARNINGS WILL BE SET APART FOR THE LORD; they will not be stored up or hoarded. HER PROFITS WILL GO TO THOSE WHO LIVE BEFORE THE LORD, FOR ABUNDANT FOOD AND FINE CLOTHES."
This told me so much about God's character and how good He is! This verse is saying that God is going to give the people who live their lives before Him in devotion and dedication GOOD THINGS!! He's going to take the wages from the prostitute and hand them out to His children so his children can have abundant food and fine clothes! ABUNDANCE!! HE'S SO GOOD! He always takes care of His
children. He gives abundance! Not only provision, but ABUNDANCE!
So here I am, in this haven of God's presence for 2 weeks.... :) It's been the perfect place for me to think on all He has done this summer, think about Africa, think about His faithfulness and how much I have grown. God has blessed me so much. He always takes care of me, and surprises me with His goodness. He is the best provider and the most wonderful Father and I am honored to call him my King. I am so honored I get to serve Him. I wouldn't have it any other way. :)
I prayed about coming back to Kansas City while I was in Africa this summer. God really taught me how to trust Him and how to keep hope alive and stay steadfast when everything changes. When I don't know what's going on or anything that is going to happen. He taught me how to have perfect peace in the midst of it all. I am so amazed and grateful for the lessons he taught me this summer. He is the best teacher in the world because as He teaches you, He walks through it WITH you. When God teaches His children, he actually does the lessons with them. Wow. Thank you God.
I had no idea how soon I would actually be back here! Not even a week after I got home from Africa God provided a way. Wow. He is so faithful to my heart.
I'm going back to Florida for a month or so to spend more time with my family and friends before I move. But right now the Lord has blessed me SO much with 2 weeks of rest and sweet prayer. I am staying with a friend and she has given me my own room with a really comfortable bed. I wake up around 3 pm and open my windows and watch every day as the sun goes down and paints the sky beautiful bright colors. I sing and worship, and the Lord and I go through my journal pages about my future husband. And then I go to the prayer room where for 8 hours all night I get to dance, sing and pray for the nations. I LOVE doing what makes me come alive. There's just something about the night time :) I have been going to the prayer room at around 10pm every night and staying until 6am. I love the nightwatch, it is the coolest thing ever. God does so much to me while I am in his presence. You can't be in his presence and not be changed.
Last night I was reading in Isaiah and my eyes happened to jump over the page at the chapter before, chapter 23. I love when God shows you some hidden treasure in his word that you never even saw before. It's Isaiah 23:17,18.
"At the end of seventy years, the LORD will deal with Tyre. She will return to her hire as a prostitute and will ply her trade with all the kingdoms on the face of the earth. YET HER PROFIT AND HER EARNINGS WILL BE SET APART FOR THE LORD; they will not be stored up or hoarded. HER PROFITS WILL GO TO THOSE WHO LIVE BEFORE THE LORD, FOR ABUNDANT FOOD AND FINE CLOTHES."
This told me so much about God's character and how good He is! This verse is saying that God is going to give the people who live their lives before Him in devotion and dedication GOOD THINGS!! He's going to take the wages from the prostitute and hand them out to His children so his children can have abundant food and fine clothes! ABUNDANCE!! HE'S SO GOOD! He always takes care of His
children. He gives abundance! Not only provision, but ABUNDANCE!
So here I am, in this haven of God's presence for 2 weeks.... :) It's been the perfect place for me to think on all He has done this summer, think about Africa, think about His faithfulness and how much I have grown. God has blessed me so much. He always takes care of me, and surprises me with His goodness. He is the best provider and the most wonderful Father and I am honored to call him my King. I am so honored I get to serve Him. I wouldn't have it any other way. :)
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Here We Go.....
I love Florida.
It's so beautiful here!
I can be at the nearest beach in 20 minutes.
I can take my dog for a walk in a park where on my left and right side are perfect views of a harbor and boats, in front of me is the huge river and tall bridge and behind is the cute little part of downtown I love.
I can go in the morning to Sunrise Bakery, climb the stairs to the second floor and sip on a smoothie while munching on my favorite bagel and looking at an adorable view of the little shops surrounding it.
My whole childhood has been lived out here. This has been the perfect setting.
I have memories that will never leave my mind and will always be a reminder of His grace on my life:
Like runnning around in the field at our old house with all our neighborhood friends without a care in the world until it got dark outside.
Getting ready for school in the morning while talking on walkie talkies with my best friend Samantha who lived 5 houses down the street from me, and having slumber parties on the weekends.
A few years later......the day I knew I got my first real crush :) His name was Josh, and I was in 7th grade.
Taking ballroom dance lessons at age 17 in the adorable downtown studio, up on the second story. My favorite lesson actually wasn't a lesson at all..that night our instructor didn't show up, so my friend and I spent 2 and a half hours in a HUGE ballroom with our ipods, dimmed the lights and just went for it. Can you say piece of heaven!
DANCE TEAM!! With Revolution youth group. Those people became some of my very best friends and still are to this day. The best memories are all the traveling and dancing in churches, at conferences, at community events, anywhere you can imagine, and all the amazing overnight/weekend/week-or-2-long trips to places in FL, TN, AL, NC, everywhere. I will forever LOVE those wonderful days!
What a picture of the grace of God my childhood and youth has been.
Now here I am at 21, and I've been wrecked forever for His purposes. Spent 2 years teaching preschool after graduating high school. Then left and spent 6 months in Kansas City Missouri with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.
Now I'm back, in this beautiful place, LOVING the sky, the water, the little restaurants that only local people know about, MY FAMILY, and the amazing people I get to know here. Getting ready to get on another plane next month and leave again. This time it's a lot farther away from home. AFRICA. For 3 months.
I'm so scared to leave again when I know it's only a season and I just want a place and community where I can stay and call home. Florida has been wonderful and amazing, but the Lord is leading me elsewhere now. I don't like it when seasons end, but there's always another season coming.
So I step out in spite of my fears, and brace myself to fall right into His arms. He has called, and He is faithful. I don't know what's going to happen, but I never do. I've got to learn how to accept that. I'm never going to know where I'm going, or where He's going to call me/us next. But if we keep our eyes on Him it's OK. He's our security. He's our safety. We never go alone.
I am not going to Africa alone. By myself, yes. But He is with me. He's never going to leave me. I've got to learn to lean on Him and Him alone. People will come and go in my life. ALWAYS. Some day family members may die and leave me here. When I'm married, my husband won't always be with me, there will be times we are possibly seperated, in other parts of the world.
In this season He is teaching me to find my security in Him. ONLY Him.
God alone is the only one who isn't going anywhere. He is unchanging. Everything in life always changes, but He doesn't. He is the First and Last. He's constant and He is a ROCK. When I'm spinning He is my anchor. He is the only one that isn't leaving me. I cling to the LORD with all that I am, and step out, into the unknown, into His arms.
Sweet Jesus, stay close to me......
It's so beautiful here!
I can be at the nearest beach in 20 minutes.
I can take my dog for a walk in a park where on my left and right side are perfect views of a harbor and boats, in front of me is the huge river and tall bridge and behind is the cute little part of downtown I love.
I can go in the morning to Sunrise Bakery, climb the stairs to the second floor and sip on a smoothie while munching on my favorite bagel and looking at an adorable view of the little shops surrounding it.
My whole childhood has been lived out here. This has been the perfect setting.
I have memories that will never leave my mind and will always be a reminder of His grace on my life:
Like runnning around in the field at our old house with all our neighborhood friends without a care in the world until it got dark outside.
Getting ready for school in the morning while talking on walkie talkies with my best friend Samantha who lived 5 houses down the street from me, and having slumber parties on the weekends.
A few years later......the day I knew I got my first real crush :) His name was Josh, and I was in 7th grade.
Taking ballroom dance lessons at age 17 in the adorable downtown studio, up on the second story. My favorite lesson actually wasn't a lesson at all..that night our instructor didn't show up, so my friend and I spent 2 and a half hours in a HUGE ballroom with our ipods, dimmed the lights and just went for it. Can you say piece of heaven!
DANCE TEAM!! With Revolution youth group. Those people became some of my very best friends and still are to this day. The best memories are all the traveling and dancing in churches, at conferences, at community events, anywhere you can imagine, and all the amazing overnight/weekend/week-or-2-long trips to places in FL, TN, AL, NC, everywhere. I will forever LOVE those wonderful days!
What a picture of the grace of God my childhood and youth has been.
Now here I am at 21, and I've been wrecked forever for His purposes. Spent 2 years teaching preschool after graduating high school. Then left and spent 6 months in Kansas City Missouri with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.
Now I'm back, in this beautiful place, LOVING the sky, the water, the little restaurants that only local people know about, MY FAMILY, and the amazing people I get to know here. Getting ready to get on another plane next month and leave again. This time it's a lot farther away from home. AFRICA. For 3 months.
I'm so scared to leave again when I know it's only a season and I just want a place and community where I can stay and call home. Florida has been wonderful and amazing, but the Lord is leading me elsewhere now. I don't like it when seasons end, but there's always another season coming.
So I step out in spite of my fears, and brace myself to fall right into His arms. He has called, and He is faithful. I don't know what's going to happen, but I never do. I've got to learn how to accept that. I'm never going to know where I'm going, or where He's going to call me/us next. But if we keep our eyes on Him it's OK. He's our security. He's our safety. We never go alone.
I am not going to Africa alone. By myself, yes. But He is with me. He's never going to leave me. I've got to learn to lean on Him and Him alone. People will come and go in my life. ALWAYS. Some day family members may die and leave me here. When I'm married, my husband won't always be with me, there will be times we are possibly seperated, in other parts of the world.
In this season He is teaching me to find my security in Him. ONLY Him.
God alone is the only one who isn't going anywhere. He is unchanging. Everything in life always changes, but He doesn't. He is the First and Last. He's constant and He is a ROCK. When I'm spinning He is my anchor. He is the only one that isn't leaving me. I cling to the LORD with all that I am, and step out, into the unknown, into His arms.
Sweet Jesus, stay close to me......
Monday, March 28, 2011
My take on relationships
When I was 16 I wrote my first "future husband list".....and it had probably 20 things on it. Then I wrote another when I was 17, and it had a little less, but the same general things.
Here's a sampling: 1. Walking the narrow way 2. Fears the Lord 3. Walks out the first commandment 4. Will sit in a coffee shop and talk for hours (or anywhere for that matter) 5. Handsome 6. A leader/shepherd 7. Doesn't care about the world or the things of the world 8. Loves the outdoors 9. Will take me on crazy adventures 10. Plays guitar/piano/sings 11. Will laugh when I always ask for a kid's menu 12.Will dance around the house in a santa hat at Christmas time(aka Fun/funny) 13. Weeps for the orphans and widows ......etc. etc. etc.
As I got older over the years this list evolved, grew bigger and smaller... Now I'm almost 22 and I have a new list. :) Wanna read my new list? Here it is:
1. Loves Jesus with all of His heart, mind, soul and strength.
That's it. I'm not kidding!! When I meet a man who loves Jesus Christ with all of His heart, mind, soul and strength, then He's going to care about orphans. He's going to care about the poor. He's going to love and serve people. He's going to be a leader and a shepherd(naturally) because that's what Jesus was. He's gonna look like Jesus. If a man has this ONE quality. He will be basically everything else on my list. Jesus was full of life, and I KNOW He had fun. Jesus would have danced around at Christmas time with me. He would have laughed when I ask for a kids' menu.
You become what you behold. You are transformed into the One you love. If this man truly loves Jesus he will LOOK LIKE JESUS. And all of these things and qualities I'm looking for WILL BE THERE. You can't love Jesus and not love the poor. You can't love Jesus and not care about those who are suffering. You can't love Jesus and not have fun. You can't love Jesus and not have a sense of humor. You can't love Jesus and not have a beautiful heart. And I personally think/believe/know from experience that people who love Jesus are almost always GOOD LOOKING. I'm not just saying that. There's something in your eyes when you love Jesus that makes you so beautiful. The children of God are BEAUTIFUL. I have been around the world and seen those who truly love God and every one of them are BEAUTIFUL. No lie.
And also, the musical thing is definitely negotiable. He doesn't have to be that. I think I will be happy with or without it. :)
So now it will be super easy for me to spot this man. I only have to look for one thing :)
Here's a sampling: 1. Walking the narrow way 2. Fears the Lord 3. Walks out the first commandment 4. Will sit in a coffee shop and talk for hours (or anywhere for that matter) 5. Handsome 6. A leader/shepherd 7. Doesn't care about the world or the things of the world 8. Loves the outdoors 9. Will take me on crazy adventures 10. Plays guitar/piano/sings 11. Will laugh when I always ask for a kid's menu 12.Will dance around the house in a santa hat at Christmas time(aka Fun/funny) 13. Weeps for the orphans and widows ......etc. etc. etc.
As I got older over the years this list evolved, grew bigger and smaller... Now I'm almost 22 and I have a new list. :) Wanna read my new list? Here it is:
1. Loves Jesus with all of His heart, mind, soul and strength.
That's it. I'm not kidding!! When I meet a man who loves Jesus Christ with all of His heart, mind, soul and strength, then He's going to care about orphans. He's going to care about the poor. He's going to love and serve people. He's going to be a leader and a shepherd(naturally) because that's what Jesus was. He's gonna look like Jesus. If a man has this ONE quality. He will be basically everything else on my list. Jesus was full of life, and I KNOW He had fun. Jesus would have danced around at Christmas time with me. He would have laughed when I ask for a kids' menu.
You become what you behold. You are transformed into the One you love. If this man truly loves Jesus he will LOOK LIKE JESUS. And all of these things and qualities I'm looking for WILL BE THERE. You can't love Jesus and not love the poor. You can't love Jesus and not care about those who are suffering. You can't love Jesus and not have fun. You can't love Jesus and not have a sense of humor. You can't love Jesus and not have a beautiful heart. And I personally think/believe/know from experience that people who love Jesus are almost always GOOD LOOKING. I'm not just saying that. There's something in your eyes when you love Jesus that makes you so beautiful. The children of God are BEAUTIFUL. I have been around the world and seen those who truly love God and every one of them are BEAUTIFUL. No lie.
And also, the musical thing is definitely negotiable. He doesn't have to be that. I think I will be happy with or without it. :)
So now it will be super easy for me to spot this man. I only have to look for one thing :)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
It's Time to Take a Break From Worry
It is so exhausting. It makes me collapse on the floor and lay there feeling helpless. "Look up.." He says, but I never do.
I'm tired. I'm so tired that I can't handle any more anxiety. He gets me to the point where I'm so tired that I HAVE to run into His arms or I won't make it.
I always forget. I always fear. I always worry. I always get anxious. It's one of my biggest struggles. And I really hate it.
I have those days where I feel like I can't handle my longing anymore. My longing for family/community, for real genuine worship, for raw, pure abandoned LOVE, for my husband, for the young people I'm called to be a mother to. I have so much longing and no outlet for it. What am I supposed to do with it? I can't do anything about it, but offer it to the Lord. And for the past couple of weeks, I haven't been offering it to Him. So it's absolutely worn me out and wearied my heart.
When longing fills up my heart to the point it feels like it's going to burst, and I don't give it to the Lord, it makes me faint and lose heart.
My journal's scribblings on March 15----
I can't do it. I can't do this anymore. I'm so weak. I keep falling. I keep losing heart. I keep getting weighed down and discouraged. I'm so scared. I need help. I can't do this alone. I can't stand being alone. I can't stand uncertainty anymore. It's too scary. I can't handle not knowing anything. I'm so scared. I can't do this. I can't do this anymore, Lord. I can't.
And you know something, I'm done, I am SO done. It is SO time to let go of fear, doubt and worry and CLING to His hand. I'm ready to let go, Lord, be with me.....
...When I heard your voice, when you said my name, when I heard your voice my heart it yearned in the middle of the night.....though You're far away, still I'm here to say I'm Yours, I'm Yours.
....You'll find me in the night, hold me in the night, open up my eyes and the Son will rise......
I'm tired. I'm so tired that I can't handle any more anxiety. He gets me to the point where I'm so tired that I HAVE to run into His arms or I won't make it.
I always forget. I always fear. I always worry. I always get anxious. It's one of my biggest struggles. And I really hate it.
I have those days where I feel like I can't handle my longing anymore. My longing for family/community, for real genuine worship, for raw, pure abandoned LOVE, for my husband, for the young people I'm called to be a mother to. I have so much longing and no outlet for it. What am I supposed to do with it? I can't do anything about it, but offer it to the Lord. And for the past couple of weeks, I haven't been offering it to Him. So it's absolutely worn me out and wearied my heart.
When longing fills up my heart to the point it feels like it's going to burst, and I don't give it to the Lord, it makes me faint and lose heart.
My journal's scribblings on March 15----
I can't do it. I can't do this anymore. I'm so weak. I keep falling. I keep losing heart. I keep getting weighed down and discouraged. I'm so scared. I need help. I can't do this alone. I can't stand being alone. I can't stand uncertainty anymore. It's too scary. I can't handle not knowing anything. I'm so scared. I can't do this. I can't do this anymore, Lord. I can't.
And you know something, I'm done, I am SO done. It is SO time to let go of fear, doubt and worry and CLING to His hand. I'm ready to let go, Lord, be with me.....
...When I heard your voice, when you said my name, when I heard your voice my heart it yearned in the middle of the night.....though You're far away, still I'm here to say I'm Yours, I'm Yours.
....You'll find me in the night, hold me in the night, open up my eyes and the Son will rise......
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Fearless!
Today as I was walking thinking about all the crazy stuff going on, the raging of the nations and rumors of wars, how EVERYTHING is getting super expensive, and how daunting and scary the future looks, I started getting some revelation.
Jesus SAID all this would happen. He said that we were going to hear of wars and rumors of wars. He asked the Father not to take us out of the world but to protect us from it. He SAID don't let your heart be troubled and don't be afraid. See that you are not alarmed. See that you don't get weighed down and disheartened.
And it occured to me that the way I've been feeling about it - how I've been getting anxious - is the way the world feels. That's the world's response to it all. Fear, doubt and worry are what the world feels when facing the unknown, uncertain future.
As a discpile my response should be totally different. I should be steady, grounded, unmoveable and unshakeable. I should be strong. I should be full of peace. I should look at all the shaking going on around me and a have a steadfast joy growing in my heart. A peace that transcends understanding (it's unnatural because how can someone have peace when everything is spinning out of control - that's why it transcends understanding) And a hope that does NOT disappoint.
I fear the LORD. There are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of promises for those who fear the LORD.
Promises that I can 100% bank on, stand on and stake my LIFE on.
Here are just a few of those promises:
He said He would take care of me.
He would never leave me.
Goodness and mercy would follow me.
I would be safe.
He would protect and hide me.
He would never let go of me.
WE ARE GOING TO BE OKAY.
WE WHO FEAR THE LORD ARE GOING TO BE TAKEN CARE OF, BLESSED, PROVIDED FOR AND PROTECTED.
Why should we fear? I want to be fearless.
When everything is shaking and spiraling out of control, I want to smile. Because I've got the LORD.
When I drive past the gas station and the sign says $5.00 a gallon, I want to sing.
When I hear of the unrest and conflict arising in the nations, I want to laugh.
My God is not weak, distant, powerless, apathetic, passive or lower than.
My God is the GREAT I AM, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, YAHWEH. The Holy One of Israel, JESUS CHRIST. The Risen Coming King.
His name I bear, and His mark I wear. So therefore I can sing in the face of fear and be absolutely FEARLESS.
Jesus SAID all this would happen. He said that we were going to hear of wars and rumors of wars. He asked the Father not to take us out of the world but to protect us from it. He SAID don't let your heart be troubled and don't be afraid. See that you are not alarmed. See that you don't get weighed down and disheartened.
And it occured to me that the way I've been feeling about it - how I've been getting anxious - is the way the world feels. That's the world's response to it all. Fear, doubt and worry are what the world feels when facing the unknown, uncertain future.
As a discpile my response should be totally different. I should be steady, grounded, unmoveable and unshakeable. I should be strong. I should be full of peace. I should look at all the shaking going on around me and a have a steadfast joy growing in my heart. A peace that transcends understanding (it's unnatural because how can someone have peace when everything is spinning out of control - that's why it transcends understanding) And a hope that does NOT disappoint.
I fear the LORD. There are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of promises for those who fear the LORD.
Promises that I can 100% bank on, stand on and stake my LIFE on.
Here are just a few of those promises:
He said He would take care of me.
He would never leave me.
Goodness and mercy would follow me.
I would be safe.
He would protect and hide me.
He would never let go of me.
WE ARE GOING TO BE OKAY.
WE WHO FEAR THE LORD ARE GOING TO BE TAKEN CARE OF, BLESSED, PROVIDED FOR AND PROTECTED.
Why should we fear? I want to be fearless.
When everything is shaking and spiraling out of control, I want to smile. Because I've got the LORD.
When I drive past the gas station and the sign says $5.00 a gallon, I want to sing.
When I hear of the unrest and conflict arising in the nations, I want to laugh.
My God is not weak, distant, powerless, apathetic, passive or lower than.
My God is the GREAT I AM, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, YAHWEH. The Holy One of Israel, JESUS CHRIST. The Risen Coming King.
His name I bear, and His mark I wear. So therefore I can sing in the face of fear and be absolutely FEARLESS.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Love????
One day late, but this doesn't have much to do with Valentine's Day anyway :)
The year 2010 and so far 2011 I have been absolutely BLASTED by the Lord. What do I mean by blasted?? Have a listen here......
I mean my heart has been broken, mended, broken again, shattered, mended, expanded, expanded again, expanded to the point of bursting and is currently a HUGE, ENORMOUS mess that I really don't know what to do with.
I never thought that I could look at a person and feel what they are feeling by one look. (It sounds scary, It's not, it's called intercession)
Let me tell you, I seriously know the dreams of His heart for certain people, places, and even things, I know their potential, I LONG for their fullness, and all of this has been given to me as a gift. My Father has chosen to give me His heart. Why? Because I asked for it.
Love changes things. I am ONE person, in my early twenties, a GIRL, with no college education and no degree, not very qualified in the eyes of the world to make a huge difference in this earth. But you know what? I know who my God is. And I know His heart. And I'm starting to get His heart. And let me tell you something.....there is no telling the things that can happen when one single person who has been wrecked and forever changed by God's heart steps out with that love in their heart and lets God lead them places. With God, all things are possible. There is nothing He cannot do.
NO ONE IS TOO FAR GONE. His arm is not too short to save..... There is no one too deep in depression, no one too lost in an endless cycle of drugs, no one too hard-hearted and cruel, no one too taken captive by demonic philosophies, no one too broken by oppression or abuse, no child too abandoned, no man too far in bondage, no woman too deep in darkness, NO ONE TOO LOST FOR MY JESUS TO SAVE.
"Therefore He is able also to save to the uttermost (completely, perfectly, finally, and for all time and eternity) those who come to God through Him, since He is always living to make petition to God and intercede with Him and intervene for them." Hebrews 7:25
He is able to save TO THE UTTERMOST.
Why?
Because HE WENT to the uttermost.
The cross took Him to the farthest, deepest depth of darkness, and He overcame it. He already went there before us. He traveled the darkest road. He had to, because that's where some people go. And He did it, and now He sits at the right hand of His Father making intercession for us.
So back to love. If you let Him wreck you to the point of you just don't care anymore, IT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING. Do you want to know love for real? Do you want your heart to be forever changed and not just changed, but RADICALLY turned UPSIDE-DOWN FOREVER,????? And then do you want to feel what God feels? Do you want Him to put His own heart in You? Do you want a heart-transplant?!!?!?!? If you say yes, then you can change the world whether or not you have money, or power, or influence, or authority, or a college-degree, or this or that certification, or ANY of that.!!!!
Sound fun? IT TOTALLY IS :)
The year 2010 and so far 2011 I have been absolutely BLASTED by the Lord. What do I mean by blasted?? Have a listen here......
I mean my heart has been broken, mended, broken again, shattered, mended, expanded, expanded again, expanded to the point of bursting and is currently a HUGE, ENORMOUS mess that I really don't know what to do with.
I never thought that I could look at a person and feel what they are feeling by one look. (It sounds scary, It's not, it's called intercession)
Let me tell you, I seriously know the dreams of His heart for certain people, places, and even things, I know their potential, I LONG for their fullness, and all of this has been given to me as a gift. My Father has chosen to give me His heart. Why? Because I asked for it.
Love changes things. I am ONE person, in my early twenties, a GIRL, with no college education and no degree, not very qualified in the eyes of the world to make a huge difference in this earth. But you know what? I know who my God is. And I know His heart. And I'm starting to get His heart. And let me tell you something.....there is no telling the things that can happen when one single person who has been wrecked and forever changed by God's heart steps out with that love in their heart and lets God lead them places. With God, all things are possible. There is nothing He cannot do.
NO ONE IS TOO FAR GONE. His arm is not too short to save..... There is no one too deep in depression, no one too lost in an endless cycle of drugs, no one too hard-hearted and cruel, no one too taken captive by demonic philosophies, no one too broken by oppression or abuse, no child too abandoned, no man too far in bondage, no woman too deep in darkness, NO ONE TOO LOST FOR MY JESUS TO SAVE.
"Therefore He is able also to save to the uttermost (completely, perfectly, finally, and for all time and eternity) those who come to God through Him, since He is always living to make petition to God and intercede with Him and intervene for them." Hebrews 7:25
He is able to save TO THE UTTERMOST.
Why?
Because HE WENT to the uttermost.
The cross took Him to the farthest, deepest depth of darkness, and He overcame it. He already went there before us. He traveled the darkest road. He had to, because that's where some people go. And He did it, and now He sits at the right hand of His Father making intercession for us.
So back to love. If you let Him wreck you to the point of you just don't care anymore, IT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING. Do you want to know love for real? Do you want your heart to be forever changed and not just changed, but RADICALLY turned UPSIDE-DOWN FOREVER,????? And then do you want to feel what God feels? Do you want Him to put His own heart in You? Do you want a heart-transplant?!!?!?!? If you say yes, then you can change the world whether or not you have money, or power, or influence, or authority, or a college-degree, or this or that certification, or ANY of that.!!!!
Sound fun? IT TOTALLY IS :)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Justice
Is there hope for the 8 year old girl who has been sold into slavery and is kept locked in a brothel and forced to have sex with strangers every single day and night, because she will be beaten if she doesn't?
Is there hope for the middle-aged business man who works countless hours week after week, exhausted, pouring himself into his job, leaving no time left for his family as they slip away? This man who has been haunted lately by the question, "Where is this going?"
Is there hope for the young man ensnared at his computer screen for hours, who feels so dirty and can never escape the guilt of what he does, who longs to stop, but isn't strong enough?
Is there hope for the young woman who finds herself every night kneeling over the toilet because she is caught in a cycle of constant striving to be perfect, to look perfect, to be skinny?
Is there hope for the homeless man who begs for money so that he can get stoned or high just so he won't have to think about his hurt for a little while?
Is there hope for the mother who has longed to have a child but just miscarried for the 5th time?
Is there hope for the little boy who always hears his parents fighting, his daddy screaming, and is terrified to do or say the wrong thing for fear he might get hurt?
Is there hope for the woman that has longed for love all her life but only found pain in every relationship she has been in, whose heart can hardly feel anymore because of all the times it has been broken?
Is there hope for the young 20-something who longs to be a good husband and father to his wife a baby but is struggling to get by and barely making enough to afford rent?
Is there hope for the girl who has been lied to and sucked into a swarm of untruth by her college professors, who has been deceived by false philosiphies and doesn't know what to believe anymore?
Is there hope for the lonely 85-year old woman who lives in a nursing home all alone, whose husband, kids, friends and relatives have all already gone?
Is there hope for the 3 siblings living on the streets of India with no parents, no shoes and no money, who have to beg every day just to have something to keep them from starving to death?
Is there hope for the man with no legs and only one arm, who has lost his eyesight and is forced to beg on the streets, and will be doing that for the rest of his life?
Is there hope for the movie star in hollywood california who is sitting alone in a million-dollar home, drowning in her own riches, has everything she could possibly want yet feels so entirely and utterly lost, hopeless and desperate?
Is there hope for the family whose father was shot and killed by someone who was just simply angry at the world?
Is there hope for the young woman who had an abortion, who feels the pain and effect of it every day and feels she can never forgive herself?
Is there hope for the 18 year old who doesn't want to drink like his friends but feels he doesn't have any other options in order to survive in college?
Is God good? Is He loving? Does He care?
YES.
“For a long time I have kept silent,
I have been quiet and held myself back.
But now, like a woman in childbirth,
I cry out, I gasp and pant.
I will lay waste the mountains and hills
and dry up all their vegetation;
I will turn rivers into islands
and dry up the pools.
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.
But those who trust in idols,
who say to images, ‘You are our gods,’
will be turned back in utter shame.
I am bringing my righteousness near,
it is not far away;
and my salvation will not be delayed.
I will grant salvation to Zion,
my splendor to Israel.
People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.
"Arise, LORD, in your anger;
rise up against the rage of my enemies.
Awake, my God; decree justice!"
And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” Luke 18:7-8
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the LORD IS A GOD OF JUSTICE.
Blessed are all who wait for him!
Is there hope for the middle-aged business man who works countless hours week after week, exhausted, pouring himself into his job, leaving no time left for his family as they slip away? This man who has been haunted lately by the question, "Where is this going?"
Is there hope for the young man ensnared at his computer screen for hours, who feels so dirty and can never escape the guilt of what he does, who longs to stop, but isn't strong enough?
Is there hope for the young woman who finds herself every night kneeling over the toilet because she is caught in a cycle of constant striving to be perfect, to look perfect, to be skinny?
Is there hope for the homeless man who begs for money so that he can get stoned or high just so he won't have to think about his hurt for a little while?
Is there hope for the mother who has longed to have a child but just miscarried for the 5th time?
Is there hope for the little boy who always hears his parents fighting, his daddy screaming, and is terrified to do or say the wrong thing for fear he might get hurt?
Is there hope for the woman that has longed for love all her life but only found pain in every relationship she has been in, whose heart can hardly feel anymore because of all the times it has been broken?
Is there hope for the young 20-something who longs to be a good husband and father to his wife a baby but is struggling to get by and barely making enough to afford rent?
Is there hope for the girl who has been lied to and sucked into a swarm of untruth by her college professors, who has been deceived by false philosiphies and doesn't know what to believe anymore?
Is there hope for the lonely 85-year old woman who lives in a nursing home all alone, whose husband, kids, friends and relatives have all already gone?
Is there hope for the 3 siblings living on the streets of India with no parents, no shoes and no money, who have to beg every day just to have something to keep them from starving to death?
Is there hope for the man with no legs and only one arm, who has lost his eyesight and is forced to beg on the streets, and will be doing that for the rest of his life?
Is there hope for the movie star in hollywood california who is sitting alone in a million-dollar home, drowning in her own riches, has everything she could possibly want yet feels so entirely and utterly lost, hopeless and desperate?
Is there hope for the family whose father was shot and killed by someone who was just simply angry at the world?
Is there hope for the young woman who had an abortion, who feels the pain and effect of it every day and feels she can never forgive herself?
Is there hope for the 18 year old who doesn't want to drink like his friends but feels he doesn't have any other options in order to survive in college?
Is God good? Is He loving? Does He care?
YES.
“For a long time I have kept silent,
I have been quiet and held myself back.
But now, like a woman in childbirth,
I cry out, I gasp and pant.
I will lay waste the mountains and hills
and dry up all their vegetation;
I will turn rivers into islands
and dry up the pools.
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.
But those who trust in idols,
who say to images, ‘You are our gods,’
will be turned back in utter shame.
I am bringing my righteousness near,
it is not far away;
and my salvation will not be delayed.
I will grant salvation to Zion,
my splendor to Israel.
People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.
"Arise, LORD, in your anger;
rise up against the rage of my enemies.
Awake, my God; decree justice!"
And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” Luke 18:7-8
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the LORD IS A GOD OF JUSTICE.
Blessed are all who wait for him!
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