Well, in the past month or two, I've really been launched into my worship music and as a songwriter. With all this new stuff, new songs, learning alot, getting a lot better playing and learning all these new tricks, and especially writing so many new songs, God has been showing me alot.
How to not be dependant on music. Because what if one day, we are thrown in jail for being lovers of Jesus, and we don't have worship set schedules or a stage to play on or any music or instruments with us?
Hmmm....we can only be so free with schedules. It is good to be organized and it does help alot. But it is one thing to flow in the Spirit doing your worship set and not worry about time or anything, but it is a whole other act of surrender and trust to go without ANYTHING planned at all. I don't think I've ever done that. But I wonder what would happen if I did? I wonder, what would happen if instead of just having a two-hour block that we are supposed to fill, we had no limit? What if the Spirit just led all? I bet He would be good at that. I bet He would even take care of transitioning. It would really be stepping out on a limb to go with nothing at all, but I can't help myself from being curious....I think God would really like that.
It's really hard.....to stay focused on one thing, when there are so many different aspects of being a musician. There are so many things and responsibilites that come with being a leader in this area. But also, I think having ONE THING is absolutely neccessary because, when all these other multitudes of things are vying for your time attention and dedication, and you are at a loss as to which one is real, you can always return to the MAIN THING as your rock. That is loving God with all of you.
Also, when you are called to this, you sacrifice. Now when I listen to music, I don't get as much out of it as I used to, because I do what they do, and I get ideas from it, and I sort of almost critique it in my mind. But all the Lord desires is that hearts are devoted. That we love Him with all of our heart, soul mind and strength. I've learned not to care so much about how it sounds. Because He doesn't. So why should I? If I care so much about how the music sounds, I am caring about it in the eyes of men. I am not entirely focused on the Lord. It is a wonderful thing when the Lord downloads melodies and harmonies and rhythms that sound awesome to the ear. But I cannot focus on that. I HAVE TO STAY FOCUSED ON HIS HEART and MINE BEING DEVOTED TO HIS.
Also, there are SO MANY different songs. BILLIONS of songs. MULTITUDES of different music!!! And I just listen to different things that are sung to the Lord and I wonder "There has got to be one central, main thing that turns every other song into just an add on. What does God want? All of these songs are great and amazing, and God loves it when we sing them with all our hearts, but what is the song He is looking for that is the MAIN THING? Is it the song of the Bride? Could it be the song of the persecuted saints singing 'Hallelujah, yet will we praise You?' or is it the song of war? My heart has been on edge, because I need to know what this central song could be! Or could it be, that the song He most desires is not even ABOUT us, but it is simply putting Him in His rightful place? But even then, which words will adequately do that better than any others? I am at a loss! Maybe there is not a one song that is sweeter to Him than all the rest. But I want to figure it out! I know that the first and greatest commandment is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul mind and strength." So I know that is what He most desires from His people. But....is there a song.....that will express that to Him? One song? I mean, if all these mulititudes of songs are just add ons to our real love for Him, then WHAT IS the main thing? If it is not a song, what is it? Could it be a LIFE? Or even could it be multitudes of lives? Of hearts so in love with Him that a song will not hold a light to it? WHAT DOES HE WANT? And why is He taking me on this journey of music and worship and adoration, if there is still more? If this worship is just a stop along the road? The road to get to the MAIN THING.
WHAT IS THE MAIN THING. That is my question. For me, I can not settle for multiple things that are equal. For me, I need there to be ONE THING. I need there to be only one thing. My heart is set on a pilgrimage to find the one thing that is needed. I think I will die if I do not find this thing. If I do not live with only ONE purpose. Because if there is only one thing, then the many multitudes of other things, will become what they really are. Good, but not central. WHAT IS THE CENTRAL THING. It might not even be a song.
So that's my today. He is working. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment